Dear Crew-

Your breastfeeding days are numbered! I've always planned to stop at 23 months but it's been hard! I was scared of you quitting too early and breastfed you too often for too long. It hurts my heart to hear you ask for "ma mow." I know each time I say, "No," is prompting you to ask about it less. Which of course the point!

I shortened our feeds to just twice a day-once before nap time and once before bedtime. Today you only got one feed. My supply is decreasing and that makes you more prone to breastfeed each side a couple times. I've also been bad. The past two nights, I've let you breastfeed for an hour!

Cutting out our morning feed(s) has helped me get so much done around the house. I can't believe I've breastfed you this long! I just love it. Truly. But you're growing up and it's time to move on. *Sigh.*

You do some cute things breastfeeding. You like to gather three to four stuffed animals and than hold them up to my boob. I'll make a slurping sound and you'll move on to the next time. This is adorable and sometimes tedious. Again, you're breastfeeding each side multiple times.

Sometimes I feel guilty because I'm always on my phone when you eat. Honestly, kid, that's my "me" time. I'll still stop and stare at you, though.

I love to put my hand on your cheek. When you were a baby, I decided to put my hand on your cheek while you were breastfeeding. It feel so intimate. I'm guessing you thought it was claustrophobic because you moved it. I thought that was too cute and put my hand back on your cheek. We played this game four or five times until you started crying, not at all amused.

I kept at it, though. Every so often, I would put my hand on your cheek. If you moved it, I wouldn't put it back. You got used to it and I think you like it because you rarely move my hand.

Your little personality is starting to shine through. You are an enthusiastic dancer and love Disney songs. I got aggravated because you would NOT hold still for diaper changes and to get dressed. It lasted for months and I wondered if any of my other kids despised holding still for as long as you did. I finally caved and you watch Disney songs on YouTube every diaper change. You throw a fit when I take my phone away.

Embarrassingly enough, you somewhat know how to navigate YouTube on my phone. You know that if you swipe up from the bottom, that other suggested Disney videos will appear. You'll often click on them and change the song. Your favorite song has to be, "How Does She Know?" from Enchanted. However, you love The Lion King, Aladdin, and Moana songs.

Your speech is still lagging. Although you shocked me this week. Nana watched you and left during your nap time. When I got you up from your crib, I asked you several times,

"Where did Nana go?" The first time you answered with a shake of your head,

"Know!" This means 'don't know' and you do it all of the time. The third I asked you, you said,

"They gone!" What?! I was so excited. You barely say ten words, yet string two of them together like that.

You had your first haircut the day after Christmas. Did I tell you about that? I couldn't handle the change during Christmas. It's funny how I mourn each last. Although Bria still hasn't had her first haircut. Ha, ha.

I love you,
~Mom

Dear Crew-

You are one silent baby. You'll babble sometimes but your speaking has been sketchy. I know you know "Mama" and guess what? That was your first word! I was so excited about that. Your second word was "Nana." We went to Sam's Club with Nana and Grandaddy to eat. As they were driving away, you pointed to their car and exclaimed, "Nana!"

Tonight, you finally said, "Dada." Dad was driving away and you said a few times, "Da!" It was so cute. I made Dad stop and roll down his windows but you wouldn't say it when Dad could hear it.

I'm not going to lie, you are going through a very trying stage. You get into everything. You're either getting into trouble or you want to be held. It's quite exhausting. I'm trying to treasure up this time period but I'm ready to be done with this stage. It's hard to go anywhere or do anything with you. You're always on the move and always causing mischief. I look forward to the days where we can do things as a whole family.

Some examples from this week: Dad took Dallin and Akarie to watch an outdoor movie tonight. I stayed home with you and Bria. Bria would have been fine, you would have been a nightmare. Dad went bowling with Dallin, Akarie and Bria. I ran errands with you. We spent ten minutes at the bowling ally and I was done.

I'm not sure about your personality. You're definitely sensitive. You're enthusiastic. You are stubborn. From time to time, I'll find you doing your clenched fist thing when you get mad. It's seriously my favorite. You also flop on the floor to pout. You don't cry, you just flop. Sometimes you'll run and flop on the floor. I find this amusing and your Nana especially finds this amusing. You do it all the time.

Okay, I can't think of anything else, my sweet precious baby. I really do love having you this young! I still love breastfeeding you. Although I can't believe how big you are all of the sudden. It hit me the other day that I would never breastfeed a little baby again. Sigh.

I love you,
~Mom